A lot of people don’t know it, but the antimatter version of Jane Roberts channeled an Anti-Seth. I managed to look at the anti-FACTS board via an entangled superstring interface on my hideously expensive quantum laptop, and saw pretty much the same play-by-play “over there” as here, save that the antimatter counterpart of Barrie Gellis calls himself Very Zealous.
Now you might think that an antimatter version of FACTS would be just the opposite of here, with (just a few highlights, no intended slight to those not mentioned) Bob Marks railing about How Astrology Just Can’t Work! and promoting Subjectivism on the side, and a feeble-minded RN sneering at the Platonic Crowd (they know who they are), and roseweed a bible-pounding buffoon, and CX a slack-jawed meatslapper, and me a low-grade reptilian mind futilely stalking the borders of sapience for prey, and shanks and Kerrin such steadily frequent, regular, and consistent contributors that everyone is pretty much bored to tears with them, etc.
And you would think that the antimatter Barrie Gellis (sorry, Very Zealous) would have exactly opposite qualities, and be, you know, like some kind of a fucking Boy Scout: honest, cheerful, thrifty, interesting, funny, concise, respectful, thoughtful, deeply introspective, humble, mature, and never, ever subject to incessant plaintive infantile whining when he doesn’t get his way.
And that everyone else would be slavering disgustingly gooey long stringy strands of pompous night drool on the collective forum pillow about who the fuck knows what and then complaining in a huffy and superior tone that the reason people refuse to have an intelligent conversation with them is because they are all TOO FUCKING STUPID OR WILLFULLY IGNORANT TO DO SO! (but in a less direct and much more unctuous and serpentine manner, of course).
But no, Very Zealous is an insufferably pompous ass, and pretty much everyone else thinks so. All the bizzaro opposite personalities must be spin-flipped and cloned in the mirror-matter universe two attoseconds away to your bottom-right. Weird things these realities, never what you expect them to be.
So anyway, I now cut and paste the Anti-Seth Concepts, with Anti-Seth’s commentary:
Lusty Busty God of My Heart's Desire, what a creep that Very fucker is! He has his head so far up my ass I’m tasting that fucking hippie peppermint soap he uses to wash his hair! Well, shit, at least he washes, the toadying little parasitic suckup! Huh? What? We're on? Okay then!
Anti-Seth’s Concepts
1. The Universe Is Safe And Playful… For The Universe, That Is. You Might Have A Problem:
The universe is just like a kitten! You know, I love those little fuckers! I mean, how can you NOT love an animal that kills just for the fuck of it? I mean to tell ya! That’s just so goddamned CUTE! And that’s the way the universe is. It wants to have fun! It wants to PLAY! Hey, a supernova here and there. An asteroid now and then. Can the universe help it if a few things get knocked over in the ruckus? It’s all in good fun! Just because YOU can’t interact proper with it, tough shit! Okay, so some dinosaurs go extinct now and then, a few Jews get stuffed into ovens. Hey! That’s the breaks. Deal with it!
2. People Are Good, Worthy And Deserving Of Happiness:
A-dolph Hit-ler! Just one HELLuva a nice guy! He is A-okay in my book. Yes. Sir. Ree! And so is Stalin! Got something bad to say about ‘em? Better just shut the fuck up! Don’t say nothing bad about ANYONE, ya hear? Nobody’s bad. Nobody!
3. Time Is Simultaneous. Well, No. Actually, Time is Phosodeomorpheous:
I’d explain more but you gotta bump up your IQ 1000 points there, Ace. But keep this in mind, how can you be in two places at once when you’re not anywhere at all? Okay, I ain’t got time for this shit. Movin’ on!
4. Reality Is Our Thoughts Made Physical, Unless They Are Already Physical, In Which Case They Become Sub-critically Phosodeomorphic (Don’t Ask):
Ever notice how when you’re thinking about shit, all of a sudden you gotta take one? THAT’S HOW IT WORKS!
5. We Create Your Reality:
Have you got a problem with that? Tough shit! I mean, look at you! You’re a goddamned three-dimensional tiny brain! You really think you can create ever single instance and position of every possible universe every god-damned morning? HELL NO! Don’t like it? Do some fucking work for a change! You think people ENJOY creating your reality? You think we’re here to PAMPER you and tend to your every WISH? You think YOU can attract events and make dreams come true? HAW! HAW! and HAW! When you’re ready, pilgrim. When you’re on your own, citizen. With no net at all. And you can try and take us on, pussy! And you'll FAIL! But at least you tried! That's all we ask! But listen, 3-D microlobe (that’s our endearing pet name for you all up here in the 5th dimension), you are in no position – yet - TO EVEN WANT TO FUCK WITH the people who are working on this shit every god-damned secondless-second of every minuteless-minute of every hourless-hour of every dayless-day of every yearless- year from here to eternity. Ever seen that flick, son? It goes like this: “KEEP…GOING! DON’T… STOP… NOW! MUCH, MUCH FURTHER! I’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE AT THE END!”
6. Violence Is Never Justified, Unless They Started It:
Ain’t nothing wrong with killing, son. Death is natural. Hell, we’d all be up to our ears in viruses and protozoa and worms and sharks and all kinds of poop if a little killing didn’t happen ever now and again. Just try and exercise a little discretion, will ya? What? You think murder is unnatural? I got news for you! See number 10! Worried about who you are killing? See number 9!You think manslaughter is an actual crime, dumbass? See number 14!
7. The "Occult" World Is Not Mysterious:
If you weren’t so fucking stupid, you’d know that. It’s pretty much the same, just different. You know, more drive-in liquor stores, less churches. But remember, in the Next World, you’re on your own.
8. Sex And The Body Are Good:
Face it, friend. Fucking is Fun. Say it with me! Fucking… is… Fun! Beating off is fun too, but you really ought to try fucking if you haven’t. You know, the nearest sapient neighbor to you Terranoids is about 60 million light years out in the Coma Cluster. They don’t have sex. Spit-swapping and spores. That’s how they reproduce. Wet blankets every one of them. That’s why they want to conquer the universe. Don’t want anyone to have fun. What? What’d I say? Oh hell, don’t worry, Terranoids, long, long time before they show up. Now. Further out beyond the Great Attractor, they ain’t got no bodies. Humorless, pissy-ass sons-of-bitches, if you could call ‘em that, which you can’t.
9. No Personality Ever Dies Nor Gets Swallowed Up By Anything:
Ain’t that a kick in the nuts? I’d bet you’d hope you’d never have to meet some of the assholes you’ve met already. But you will. Probably near one of the drive-in liquor stores, but more likely the churches.
10. We're As Dead Right Now As We'll Ever Be:
So don’t worry about killing!
11. There Are An Infinite Number Of Probable Realities Constantly Being Created From Which We Choose What To Actualize:
“We” being the operative word here. Not “you”. Can’t have 3-D riffraff wanting to elbow and asshole their way into our multi-D sex orgies and thrill-kills.
12. The Present Is The Point Of Power:
I always crack myself up when I say that. Just goes to show you I talk out of my ass sometimes too. So you shouldn’t always buy into what people tell you. Of course, everything else I’m telling you is the unvarnished truth.
13. There Is No Kind Of "Pre-Ordained" Punishment For Things Done In Any Lifetime:
You get that? Fuck over anyone you want, if you think you can take ‘em.
14. People Are Aware Of Their Deaths And Deaths Of Others Long Before They Happen And The Same With What Appear To Be "Accidents":
So don’t feel so bad about killing and fucking over people.
15. The Dream State Is But One Realm Where All Our Various Selves (And "Spirits") All Intermingle And Communicate:
Of course, we multi-Ds generally give you a hard time. I mean, face it, you are limited and boring, not very smart, and easy to intimidate. The problem with immortality is it can get pretty damned dull, so you take your fun where you can find it, and damn the consequences (see number 13).
16. Dreams Continue After We Wake Up:
You just don’t know it. Don’t worry, go about your day-to-day business, I already told you all your dreams are boring. Unless you are killing or fucking something in them.
17. Everybody Is A Hero In Progress:
Oh, man here I am cracking myself up with a hokey saying again! HAW! Seriously now, stand up for yourself. Shitstorms come your way, and they will, shrug it off. Wipe the shit off your face, son! Be strong enough to take it. Weak-kneed whiners stay down in 2-and-below-D land. By the way, uh, demotion is always a possibility.
18. Everything Has Consciousness:
So be nice to atoms. Atoms have feelings too.
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